As it’s Christmas again, it’s time for our usual UWHS Christmas fable, written by Tim….

A little fable for your enjoyment…

Equipment Needed:

• Eggnog (Captain Morgan’s optional)
• Sense of Humor (Available at your local Walgreens or CVS)

And so it…

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Microsoft Wireless 6000 Mouse;

The computers were sleeping on the network with care,

In hopes that Windows Home Server Backup soon would be there.

–

The children were nestled all sung in their beds,

While visions of Windows Media Center danced in their heads;

And the wife with her netbook, and mine removed from my lap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

–

When inside the office there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to hear a clicking hard drive platter;

Away to the laptop I flew like a flash,

Remote Desktop the server, to diagnose the crash.

–

Admin and password and the trusty Console,

Gave the hope that this sound, away it would go;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a glowing red error and file conflicts listed here.

–

With an outdated driver and firmware SD1A

I knew in a moment it must be the Seagate;

More rapid than eagles the conflict errors they came,

It hummed and it clicked while I called it bad names.

–

Now, sh&#head, now f*&kstain, now d*$kwad and a$$*ole,

On restart, on error log, on to disk manager I go;

To the side of the server, to the bay of the drive,

If I do not stop cursing I will wake up my wife.

–

As shiet that hits fans would then start to fly,

I shut down the server and unplugged the drive;

So out to the garage, the slippers and I flew,

To a drawer full of old IDE drives, I hope a SATA one too.

–

And then, in a twinkling, I saw in the drawer,

An old My Book World Edition that I had dropped on the floor;

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

To the work bench I went with the drive I had found.

–

It was made in all white, from head to rubber feet,

And the sides were slightly scratched from being dropped on concrete;

A bundle of power cords were attached to the back,

Crap, this might not work, as I heard plastic crack.

–

My eyes – ah who cares, garage damn cold and I so weary

My cheeks were like roses, my nose like a cherry;

A little drool from my mouth was about to ice over,

Onto the beard of my chin, well it is a goatee, a summer leftover.

–

So the Craftsman screwdriver was jammed, tight in plastic teeth,

The cover would not budge, I would have to get underneath;

But then I remembered, there had to be a trick,

And it shook when I opened it, with just one simple click.

–

Inside was the 500GB SATA, a trusty WD drive,

And I laughed when I thought it could be brought back alive;

A shake and a turn and a twist of a screw head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

–

I spoke not a word, and went straight back to the case,

And removed the old drive, this one in its place;

Replacing the cables and side cover I arose;

And giving a nod, Power On, here it goes.

–

As she sprang to life once again, the drive gave me a whistle,

And away flew the error messages, like the down of a thistle;

And the wife heard me exclaim, as I turned off the light,

Drive Extender for all, and to all a good-night!

* * *

Happy Holidays To Everyone!