“Branded as the ‘ultimate cue-sport experience combining realistic physics with fun,’ let us see how enjoyable digital pool can truly be!”
Plotless Pool
The plot has as much depth as a misspelt autobiography scribbled in red crayon by a cast member of the laborious hit TV show The Only Way Is Essex. Meaning, it has none. But let’s be clear: who plays a pool simulation game for narrative depth? That is the equivalent of going to McDonald’s for nutritious food; it is just not going to happen. However, if you are just after a quick, inexpensive, fun time—or if you are a keen pool enthusiast—then Top Shot Pool could be for you.
The title has a fair few customisations, such as eight basic colour schemes for the flush felt stretched over the tables. I imagine this is purely cosmetic, unless you’re heavily colourblind, which could be a slight problem. But let’s be fair: if categorising colours isn’t your strong suit, a digital pool simulator is probably not the game for you! Aside from these insipid table choices, you can also change the colour of your endangered ivory balls. You can stick with the default US colouration, or you can switch to the humdrum UK rose-red and smokers’-teeth-yellow colour scheme. If this isn’t enough, you can choose the size of the table, stretching from a baby 7-foot frame all the way to a mighty, Goliath 9-foot beast.
There are also five luxurious venues to choose from. You start in a Stella Artois-soaked local bar filled with punters who look as brain-dead and frigid as something you’d find in Ed Gein’s house of horrors. Sounds inviting, right?
Fear not, if this isn’t the place where you want to hit hardened balls into leather-laced pockets. Next, we have the unimaginatively named “Pool Hall”. This venue resembles a ghetto comedy club, complete with a pointlessly menacing silhouette of a random drum kit. Then there is the “Purple Arcade”, which is essentially the bar level, just with some off-brand arcade machines pasted over the walls and some edgy, ’80s-cola-soaked carpet all over the floor. That brings us to “The Club”, which seems about as well-lit as a North Sea oil rig at night. If all of those don’t float your boat, you can treat yourself to the big time and play the “Arena”. Again, it feels very basic, but I honestly think it is a nice option to have different landscapes, even if they are a little lacklustre.
Facetious sensibilities aside, the graphical textures are not going to win any awards by any stretch of the imagination. However, they are relatively nice considering the main aspect of the game is very much pool, not landscape scenery. If I am being truthful, I think the developers have done quite a good job. If I could change anything, I would try to add a little more ambience, as the current atmosphere is as basic as a Lidl lettuce.
Gameplay and Mechanics
The gameplay at first seems as simple as boiling a free-range egg, but its simplicity is just a ruse. It is actually very complex, and there is definitely a skill to be learned. Don’t get me wrong, you can get away with just hammering the ball mindlessly and hoping for the best—which is mostly what I tend to do. However, I can imagine somewhere out there are very skilled players of Top Shot Pool who have learned all the nuances. Unfortunately, I am not one of them.
You control your cue by holding down X (on PS5) and pulling the left analogue stick backwards to adjust the power of your shot. You can then add spin by pressing Square, or change the cue angle by pressing Triangle. Once your shot is set, you just let go of X and let the cue ball fly. As you can imagine, there are endless possibilities if you work out the trajectories and angles, making it feel very much like playing actual pool.
The Five Game Modes
Versus Match (Player vs AI): This is the first mode you come across and the one I spent most of my time on. It is basically you versus artificial intelligence, playing on a mixture of tables, venues, and different skill levels. You remain in complete control of the rules, from how many frames you want to play to the functioning rules of the pool game itself. You can also choose the difficulty of your AI opponent, which is broken down into different named characters. Surprisingly, they all actually have different character models, which was a nice touch—even if everyone seems to have cold, dead, artificial eyes. It’s like looking into a void.
Versus Match (Player vs Player): This is the same as the mode above, just instead of playing against the AI, you play with one of your flesh-and-blood mates. Since I seem to be ever so lacking in those, I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Oh no. Being the mentally deranged delinquent I am, I actually got two PlayStation controllers and played against myself. It was about as fun as trying to itch my own back with a Quaver. But on the plus side, I won, so there are no losers here… well, okay, maybe one, but you get my point.
Top Shot (Clearance): This is a solo speed match where you run the rack as fast as you can to try and beat your high score. I found this fairly fun for a bit, but if you are trying to skim seconds off your time, it can get a little stressful.
Top Shot (Knockout Tournament): This is essentially the first game mode again, just wrapped in a tedious tournament setting which I could never seem to win.
Free Practice: This is the mode where you can bring out your boozed-up Ronnie O’Sullivan A-game. You can just aimlessly whack coloured balls against curved cushions and unwind from the hard realities of life. To be honest, this is the game mode I probably enjoyed the most, simply because it was super relaxing and there was no pressure to be any good.
Graphics and Presentation
As I’ve stated before, the graphics are not going to win any awards. Sometimes the NPCs are, quite frankly, ghoulish with their lack of colour and robotic feel. However, where the graphics really matter are the pool-related textures such as the tables, the cues, and the balls—which look very appealing. The grain on the wood texture looks real enough, and the physics of how the balls move is very lifelike. All of these things really just make it quite fun to play.
Yes, there are drawbacks, as this is a budget title. A super budget title. Trust me, it’s cheaper than a 30g pouch of Cutters Choice and some Silver King skins—and that is before the 2024 tobacco tax! Being so cheap, you do expect problems, but I’m pleased to say none of those issues arise in the actual gameplay. Yes, the layout is basic, some of the environmental textures need work, and the soundtrack is as repetitive as listening to UK drill music through the banged-up speakers of a 2003 Ford Focus. But at its core, the pool mechanics are very good.
Final Verdict
If this is the type of game you’re interested in, it is definitely worth your money. As I said, it’s super cheap, coming in at just over £5, so why not give it a go? For all of the reasons listed above, I give it a 4.3 out of 10. This rating could be higher if the game just had a little more polish, but for the price, you can’t really complain. If you’re into smashing ivory balls into leather-laced pockets, give Top Shot Pool a go.
4.3
+super cheap
+ realistic pool mechanics
-basic game moods
-Dead looking NPCs
(Reviewed on PlayStation 5)
