Last week I was given a scary game.
I don’t like being scared.
This week I’ve been given a game best enjoyed with friends.
I don’t have friends.
And while that isn’t true, none of them own Goblin Company. If they did, I’d have questions.
Questions like: “why?”
Not to say Goblin Company doesn’t have redeeming qualities, but it isn’t the sort of thing I’d imagine many people picking up as everything it attempts to be, has been done before, and been done better to boot. But as with Hollowbody last week, I will preface criticism or praise by saying Goblin Company is not my vibe, it’s not what I enjoy so take everything written below with a pinch of salt and, as always, check reviews from multiple sources before deciding to spend money.
Goblin Company is an online co-operative sandbox of sorts, offering you the chance to actually go into goblin-mode and live out any fantasies you might have of being a Victorian urchin, only green and armed with a laser pistol. Developed and published by BitBorne Studio, it attempts to tread a line between survival mechanics and silly multiplayer physics.
A line it largely succeeds in walking. The visuals are interesting, largely consisting of gloomy caves little by vibrantly coloured crystals and torches. However you are not alone down there, bugs, that look mostly like larvae, populate the dark. Your goal is to find the fabled Giant Crystal, a feat I did not manage as, as stated above, I have no friends and this game is far better enjoyed with daft mates, who will likely shoot you in the back, but they’re your friends not mine.
In order to find this legendary crystal you must collect smaller crystals, fill quotas, allowing you to progress through several different biomes each weirder than the last. Largely this is done through mining with your laser pistol, filling up mining carts, then directing them back to your home base and through a green portal to God knows where.
Here is where creativity enters the equation, something I lack. You can place railway tracks to create whatever rollercoasters you like, feel free to not finish them and watch your mates catapult themselves into a wall or into a pool of lava. Your choice, I’m not your mother.
Goblin Company does a good job at setting the stage for this quest with a series of humorous sketches in lieu of a traditional tutorial, depicting goblins not enjoying a lava bath, or being scared of the dark (not very classic goblin behaviour).
But tutorial outlines many of the issues I found with the game, for one performance isn’t amazing, for a game that doesn’t push the limits of its hardware or pack the screen with pixels, it sometimes struggles to run, with the framerate doing whatever it wants to in a given moment. Additionally, moving the player character whilst construction railways is a lot like pasting a picture into a Word document (other text processing tools are available), in short, pure chaos.
In a game where the main thrust is it’s mechanics (because it’s not the story), having these feel clunky or buggy is very discouraging for the player. And whilst the game is not expensive by any stretch of the imagination (currently £7.27 on Steam if I haven’t put you off), I personally wouldn’t enjoy persuading my friends (who are definitely real) to buy this, then have it crash on us repeatedly.
On the positive side of things, BitBorne have implemented seven patches since the game’s release less than a fortnight ago. Given the bones of this are solid and the jank might be part of the charm, perhaps it’s worth giving the developers time to build something, then investing your hard-earned money. Or the interest could wane and the updates might stop. Independent game studios have it tough.
All in all, Goblin Company has the foundations of a fun multiplayer experience, but I wonder if it has the depth to go the distance. If the bugs and lag can be patched out, it will at lest get its chance to show us either way.
And yes, I will be watching the football again. Portugal vs Uzbekistan in an hour or so, the degenerate that I am.
