I love it when the development team is as crazy as the games they create. Coffee Stain North is the crew behind the highly anticipated Goat Simulator 3. This fun-loving and eclectic group of like-minded individuals has a wicked sense of humour and an unrivalled passion for the gaming industry. I was fortunate enough to get hands-on with the game and harass the team for a considerable amount of time. As such, we discussed a plethora of subjects, laughed, talked, and laughed some more. However, you don’t want to know that. Instead, you want to know about the wonderful goaty game.
Due to be released on November 17th, 2022, this is exclusive to the Epic Store and next Gen titles only. This will be disappointing news for fans of Steam or those on older consoles. However, no longer will the devs be restricted by dated tech, and the heavy investment from Epic has pushed them towards the finish line.
What’s new in Goat Simulator 3?
Everyone loved the high-energy madness of the original. However, this time around, the goat is a little slower. Now, this doesn’t reduce the insanity. Instead, it enhances the experience as it’s more manageable. This aside, there are many major changes afoot. The first is a whopping world to explore! You now have a map that is 18 times larger than the first and measures approximately 1.1 million square goatage. I was assured that this was the correct term of measurement, though I’m still a little dubious.
On top of this, there are some incredible custom options. Through crazy goat shenanigans, exploration, and progression, you will unlock skins and earn tokens. This can be spent on more cosmetic gear to make the goat of your dreams. If this doesn’t tickle your fancy, you can now grind rails and wires like Tony Hawks, or steal cars like some goat mobster from Grand Theft Auto. These mechanics were introduced to help traverse the monstrous 1.1 million square goatage map. (Wait a minute, is that even a thing?) This was a phenomenal choice as it retains the goaty charm without relying on jetpacks, teleporters or other unnecessary nonsense*. (* Disclaimer, other unnecessary nonsense is likely to be included.)
Finally, multiplayer goat action!
You screamed, you shouted, and you cried! Thankfully, the devs aren’t monsters, mainly, and they listened. The result? Multiplayer goat action! With the ability to invite three like-minded goat friends to your world, you can complete quests, enter mini-games, and be goat assholes together. There is one caveat, however, and that is no random player may enter your goat paradise. Yes, you read that correctly. Goat Simulator 3 doesn’t allow promiscuous meetings with random goat enthusiasts. Therefore, you’ll have to convince your friends to buy a copy of the game or King of the Hill, The Floor is Lava, and the 5 other mini-games will never be experienced.
Goat Simulator 3 is so crazy that it is a must-have title.
I rarely consider niche games as must-have experiences. Normally, they try too hard and they lose their way. However, Goat Simulator 3 is different. It stamps its personality on every element and you know what you’ll get. At times, it is ruthless, unfair, and infuriating. Yet you’ll still laugh, as it’s undeniably insane, immature, and childish. I adored my limited time with it and can’t wait to cover it fully in the near future. I know that the action and story will be full of surprises, but one thing that is guaranteed is that it’ll be a toy box of fun with minimal restrictions. If this takes your fancy, preorders can be found here; Epic Store, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X/S. Why not prepare to get your goat on by looking up more information here?
