When Cable and Deadpool meet for the first time, After surviving a near-fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfil his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste.

Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavour – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.

I think Deadpool wrote this article can someone please stop him now.

Deadpool 2 is out in the cinema in the UK 16th May.